I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
