so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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