glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
