Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
