Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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