turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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