I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
