I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
