Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
