This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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