i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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