Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
