she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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