shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
