More tranny stories later!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize