i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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