why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
