he wants to bone in the snuggie
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
