i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize