Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize