bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
