i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My ass is underappreciated
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
