M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
