Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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