Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
