She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
