it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
