marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
