i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
