I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
