so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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