Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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