Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
