Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
