This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sorry about my life...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
