no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
