i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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