We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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