His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
