I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
