Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
