i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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