DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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