batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
