i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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