So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
