It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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