Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
