I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
