me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
