no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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