naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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