found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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