So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
