i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
