i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize