Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
